DEAR MISS MANNERS: Right here is a matter for our occasions: I used to be in a espresso bar not too long ago, and an individual sitting a number of ft away from me was listening to some form of recorded content material on his cell phone with out the advantage of headphones.
It was annoying, significantly on prime of the store’s programmed music and different face-to-face conversations going down.
After some time, I requested, in a really well mannered and civil method, “Sir, do you occur to have earbuds or headphones that you would use?” He bristled barely and stated that he didn’t understand the sound was annoying, then merely shut the system off, for which I thanked him.
Is what I did throughout the bounds of affordable and well mannered habits? Whereas I might by no means query somebody’s proper to have interaction in a face-to-face dialog or phone name on this scenario, my feeling is that taking part in something loud sufficient for another person to listen to quantities to forcing your alternative on others, and is due to this fact thoughtless.
I might recognize your ideas on the difficulty.
GENTLE READER: Actually that is impolite. Bristle as this younger man would possibly, you probably did nothing mistaken by politely and fairly asking him to make use of headphones in a public place.
The truth is, Miss Manners assures you, you probably saved him from a ruder patron’s way more indignant objections.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My closest buddy has been serving to a wholesome 92-year-old man clear possessions from his home over the course of a 12 months, starting after the nice lack of his spouse. The widower has given my buddy a variety of private gadgets.
Over this time, my buddy has talked about me as a really expensive buddy, and the widower is inclined to share a bit of bijou with me. It's a classic designer piece — a choker, I consider. I'm completely happy to obtain it as a loving response to his loss.
I'll probably see pictures of the jewellery earlier than truly receiving it — and even assembly him. Ought to I acknowledge and thank him earlier than receiving the piece of bijou? And I might think about I ought to formally thank him once more after receiving and sporting it.
I consider there isn't any protocol for the preemptive acknowledgment of a present. It will likely be at the very least three months earlier than I obtain it, after he has positioned it in my buddy’s fingers to ship to me. I'm a most honest and fixed author of formal thank-you notes, so that you would possibly perceive my dilemma.
GENTLE READER: Nobody ever complained about too many thank-you letters. Effectively, provided that they had been bemoaning their very own deficiencies in writing them, in fact. And fortuitously, you don't complain about that.
Miss Manners due to this fact thinks it might be charming so that you can write a letter to your buddy’s buddy, introducing your self and telling him how honored you might be to be the recipient of a bit of his departed spouse’s jewellery. Then, if you lastly obtain the present, you would write one other (shorter) letter, acknowledging receipt and saying that it's much more lovely in particular person.
There isn't a purpose to not give this sort gentleman some good studying materials in trade for his generosity.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.