DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband by no means attire appropriately for occasions. When our children graduated from highschool, he wore denims. Out to a pleasant dinner with pals: denims. Anniversary dates — yup, you guessed it: denims.
They aren’t even good, dressier denims, however distressed, soiled and clearly previous. The unusual factor is that he buys quite a lot of good costume garments, however he by no means wears them.
I really feel so misplaced each time I've to take an image with him on these events, as a result of everybody else appears good and he has on denims. I’ve even prompt he put on khakis when the costume code is enterprise informal, however he sticks with denims.
I perceive they're comfy, however I really feel embarrassed to be seen with him as a result of he refuses to stick to the costume code.
GENTLE READER: Like many individuals, your husband thinks of dressing as one thing he does purely for himself. There are the “I solely costume for consolation” individuals, of whom he appears to be one, and the “I costume to specific myself” individuals.
That is all nicely and good, so far as it goes. However clothes additionally serves as a symbolic system that individuals use subliminally. Everybody, even he, is studying that means into how different individuals costume.
Think about: Why do even probably the most outlandish celebrities costume soberly when they're on trial? As a result of their costly legal professionals clarify that the decide will interpret severe costume as respect for the legislation, and that juries would really feel that somebody who defies costume codes may also be able to defying the legislation.
You may clarify that dressing informally on a proper event is interpreted as an absence of respect. For that matter, the reverse can be true: It might be offensive should you confirmed up at a picnic in a elaborate costume, for instance.
Miss Manners needs you luck in getting him to grasp. Most individuals don't admit that they interpret clothes symbolically. “How terrible, to guage one thing so superficial!” they are going to say. But they do all of it the identical.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be watching a Cary Grant film the opposite day referred to as “Speak of the City,” and one character is a legislation professor who’s convalescing and writing a guide.
A lady is caring for him, I feel at her house.
In the future, the professor is consuming soup. I don’t assume I’ve ever seen a soup spoon just like the one he used: It was oval, not spherical, and really huge — like a serving spoon or barely greater.
Within the film, he's a correct form of fellow, and the girl caring for him does issues correctly, as nicely. Are you able to inform me what sort of spoon this was?
GENTLE READER: A soup spoon. They have been very massive. And Miss Manners prefers that to the concept Mr. Grant — or was it Mr. Ronald Colman? — picked up the serving spoon by mistake.
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