DEAR ABBY: I've two pals who're sisters. They textual content me daily all through the day, sharing each thought and each little factor that occurs to them.
Additionally, they always invite me over to their properties and attempt to manipulate me into coming over. One does it by telling me her daughter loves me and desires me to come back for dinner; the opposite makes use of different techniques of an identical nature — like her canine misses me.
Not one of the different folks in my life do that. All of us have lives to reside — some busier than others. With the others, we see one another on birthdays, holidays and different celebrations the place all of us get collectively, go to and catch up.
This on a regular basis texting is getting on my nerves to the purpose the place some days I don’t reply to both of them.
I've tried subtly and blatantly to inform them to cease, however to no avail. What else do I must say or do?
I've identified each of those folks for 40 years, and it appears they solely “hear” me once I flip out on them — one thing I’m attempting to vary about myself.
HOUNDED IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR HOUNDED: It could not be “flipping out” to firmly inform these needy sisters you wouldn't have time to textual content with them every day as a result of you're a busy particular person and being bombarded is distracting.
You additionally wouldn't have to go to anybody as a result of their canine or their baby misses you. Set some floor guidelines and see them when it’s handy for you — say, as soon as a month (if that). As soon as the stress is off, you may take pleasure in them extra.
DEAR ABBY: My mother and father are divorced. My father, who I’m positive loves me in his personal method, is super-controlling and manipulative.
He wasn’t good to my older siblings, both. He always lied and blamed others for his abusive conduct, which made me hate them. He always claimed Mother cheated on him and mentioned my siblings had been horrible children. After I was a toddler, I believed him. However as I grew older, I began seeing by way of his lies.
He nonetheless tries to do it. He additionally makes use of his approval as a weapon to make me really feel responsible and do what he desires. For instance, he’s very spiritual, and he instructed me typically that if I wasn’t spiritual, he’d cease loving me simply as simply as he loves me.
I simply need to reside my life, however I do know if I do, he’ll minimize me off and maintain my youthful siblings from speaking with me. I really like them, and figuring out him, he’ll inform them lies about me the way in which he did with me about my older siblings.
He desires me to marry somebody from our faith, however I've fallen in love with somebody who doesn’t have our identical factors of view. This particular person is conscious of the state of affairs, however ultimately, if issues progress, my dad will discover out. What ought to I do?
LOST GIRL IN VERMONT
DEAR GIRL: In the event you nonetheless reside beneath your father’s roof, you'll have to abide by his “home guidelines” for now.
If you grow to be unbiased — which I strongly urge you to do — you'll be able to then contemplate which faith meets your wants and whom you need to marry. Nobody ought to determine these items for you.
I assume you have already got a robust relationship along with your youthful siblings. Hold engaged on it and your father could have a tougher time making them suppose ailing of you sooner or later.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.