DEAR ABBY: I lately Googled my brother-in-law to see if I may discover his birthdate, which I had forgotten. When his title got here up, so did some data I want I hadn’t seen.
He’s a convicted intercourse offender (rape) who has served time.
I'm assuming my sister is aware of about his previous. However what if she doesn’t?
I don’t wish to say something to her, as a result of if she already is aware of, she’ll be upset that I now know. If she doesn’t know and I inform her, I’m afraid she could blame me for messing up a superb factor.
Ought to I speak to him and ask him if he’s instructed her? Or ought to I go away issues alone and let issues play out naturally?
I used to be shocked by the revelation as a result of it doesn’t match the person I do know.
— SHOCKED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR SHOCKED: Are you 100% positive the knowledge you discovered is about your brother-in-law?
If it’s true, the revelation that there's a felon within the household (and for rape, but!) would shock anybody.
Discuss to your sister. Clarify that you simply forgot the date of her husband’s birthday and what you found.
It’s totally attainable that she is aware of about his previous. But when she doesn’t, direct her to the positioning from which you bought that data, as a result of she’s entitled to know.
DEAR ABBY: My middle-aged daughter and her household have been estranged from me for a number of years, together with the final 12 months of her father’s unhappy battle with dementia.
I'm instructed my grandson has been taught to check with me as “The Satan,” though I don’t know why.
Just lately, her husband (my son-in-law) emailed me an inventory of possessions from my dwelling that they now anticipate to have. My late husband’s marriage ceremony ring was included on the listing.
What would you say to the calls for for objects from an grownup little one with whom you haven't any relationship?
— OUT OF THEIR LIVES IN VIRGINIA
DEAR OUT: Please settle for my sympathy for the lack of your husband. As to what I might say in response to those greedy relations, I wouldn’t dignify their demand with any response in any respect.
DEAR ABBY: My grandson is 30. He lives at dwelling along with his mom and father, each of whom are retired. He doesn’t have a job, neither is he actively in search of one.
The one so-called job he ever had in his life was as a safety guard at a school museum, working some 20 hours per week.
He's wholesome however appears to be content material to proceed residing off his mother and father. They despatched him to varsity, and he says he has a level. His mom has instructed me she would by no means kick him out of the home.
I believe he needs to be compelled to get an actual job. His résumé could be pathetic, however I imagine if he stays on this course, he’ll by no means be self-supporting. What do you assume?
— REALISTIC GRANDPA IN FLORIDA
DEAR GRANDPA: I believe you might be right. Your grandson shouldn't be a self-starter and, because of his mother and father’ “generosity,” he won't ever discover the motivation to turn into unbiased. Nothing will change till his mother and father understand they should encourage their son to develop up and go away the nest.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.