Gov. Spencer Cox and first girl Abby Cox trip within the Days of ’47 Parade in Salt Lake Metropolis on Saturday, July 23, 2022. Kristin Murphy, Deseret Information
It was 176 years in the past when Brigham Younger stopped his wagon excessive in Emigration Canyon. Wanting down over the broad expanse of the Salt Lake Valley, he uttered these memorable phrases: “That is the proper place!” He then proceeded along with his exceptional group of brave refugees to settle the Utah Territory. (Though due to Utah’s winters and summers, many hoped he would proceed to San Diego.)
Ever since then, no matter one’s non secular affiliation, our state celebrates the twenty fourth of July — and particularly the Days of ’47 Parade. Politicians and curiosity teams like to take part on this common occasion, often smiling and waving from ornate floats and good automobiles.
All the time civic minded, your columnists once more proposed nice concepts for enjoyable and attention-grabbing float themes and banners for these politicians and different teams. Inexplicably, none of them embraced our strategies. (An indication of widespread sense?) Nonetheless, listed here are our sober suggestions for a beautiful and unforgettable parade:
Gov. Spencer Cox: On a big farm flatbed trailer pulled by a tractor, standing erect and tall with the banner, “Your governor: Vanquishing social media, incivility and drought.”
Lt. Gov. Deidre Henderson: Using a big turkey-looking float with the loudspeaker proclaiming the message: “Keep in mind, this yr you'll be able to plan your Thanksgiving Dinner and full the election poll on the identical time. Election day is Nov. 21.”
Salt Lake Metropolis Airport Authority Board and airport Director Invoice Wyatt: All carrying a banner, “Proud to be your airport and making Utahns a lot more healthy with lengthy walks on Concourse A.”
Little Cottonwood Canyon gondola supporters: A gaggle of ski resort builders marching with the banner, “Get polluting automobiles off the street (and extra skiers to our resorts).”
GOP main congressional candidates: Three contenders, Celeste Maloy, Becky Edwards and Bruce Hough, shall be on a float doing a fragile dance, demonstrating how they'll entice Trump supporters with out being saddled along with his baggage.
These different congressional candidates: Democrat Kathleen Riebe and United Utah January Walker will stroll the route holding an indication, “Republicans are boring. Attempt one thing new.”
Mates of the Nice Salt Lake conservation group: They are going to be driving bicycles shouting, “Thanks, however hold these lawns yellow. One good winter shouldn't be sufficient.”
U.S. Sen. Mitt Romney: Using in a classy convertible waving to the gang and shouting, “Whats up Utah. Nonetheless deciding. No have to rush.”
Utah Home Speaker Brad Wilson: Additionally driving in a convertible, waving to the gang shouting, “Whats up Utah. I've determined. I’ve raised 2.2 million causes to remain within the Senate race.”
Riverton Mayor Trent Staggs: Using a unicycle and holding an indication, “Additionally working for U.S. Senate. Underdogs can win!”
U.S. Sen. Mike Lee: Using a horse, sword in hand, with an indication, “Main the cost in opposition to out-of-control wokeness.”
The Salt Lake Bees group: Marching and carrying a banner, “South Jordan isn’t that distant and we’ll nonetheless supply high quality triple-An expert baseball at minor-league costs.”
Utah hockey followers: Carrying the banner, “Main league hockey is quicker, funner and cheaper than major-league baseball. Simply sayin’.”
Utah Senate President Stuart Adams: In a convertible with an indication, “Quiet, competent management produces nice outcomes for Utah.”
Redistricting Fee members: Carrying a banner, “Gerrymandering is useless (we hope). We place confidence in the Utah Supreme Court docket.”
Utah’s congressional delegation and GOP legislators: Marching and carrying a banner, “Hey, drawing voting district traces all the time makes somebody actually mad. We simply want sad Democrats over sad Republicans.”
Salt Lake Metropolis Mayor Erin Mendenhall: Atop an enormous float adorned with protesters, bicyclists, tree huggers and the banner, “Salt Lake Metropolis. You hate our politics however like to celebration right here.”
Mayoral candidate Rocky Anderson: Strolling with the banner, “Please ignore all these folks having enjoyable. This metropolis is a catastrophe.”
Utah Jazz group: Proprietor Ryan Smith, crew CEO Danny Ainge and coach Will Hardy in a jacked-up pickup truck with the banner, “Nonetheless rebuilding, however this is likely to be a reasonably good yr.”
U. of U. President Taylor Randall: In a convertible pulling a billboard, “The Pac-12 could also be in disarray, however we're successful the championships.”
BYU President C. Shane Reese: In a Conestoga wagon, carrying an indication, “These dusty plains and rocky ridges of independence had been robust. However Large 12. That is the place — the Promised Land.”
Salt Lake County Mayor Jenny Wilson: Using in a convertible with a bullhorn, “Keep in mind the required loud voice within the wilderness of Republicans.”
Utah Democratic Occasion Chair Diane Lewis: Atop a float with an indication, “Inflation is down, Ukraine is successful, employment is excessive. Thanks, President Biden!”
Utah Republican Chair Rob Axson: Using in an enormous truck, with an enormous signal: “Why Republicans win: Biden, Schumer, Pelosi. Want I say extra?!”
Frank Pignanelli and LaVarr Webb: Sporting clown outfits, trudging alongside at parade’s finish, carrying shovels and an indication saying, “Horses and politicians produce emissions. We shovel it. It’s a grimy job, however now you understand the place we get our column materials.”
Republican LaVarr Webb is a former journalist and a semiretired small farmer and political advisor. Electronic mail: lwebb@exoro.com. Frank Pignanelli is a Salt Lake legal professional, lobbyist and political adviser who served as a Democrat within the Utah state Legislature. Electronic mail: frankp@xmission.com.