DEAR ABBY: I dated a separated married man for six months. He stated he needed a dedicated relationship with me, however after two months, he determined he nonetheless needed to have intercourse together with his spouse often.
I assumed he’d be together with her, like, perhaps as soon as a month or as soon as each three months. He advised me I'd be his major lady. Effectively, I discovered that she, not I, was major.
I've lower it off with him and am now transferring on, however he nonetheless needs to be buddies.
At first, I did too. However now, once I look again on the betrayal, I now not wish to be his pal.
Am I improper? Ought to I proceed the friendship?
SECOND PLACE IN MARYLAND
DEAR SECOND PLACE: No, and no!
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 30-something single homosexual man. My mother and father are older and have a strained marriage. They now not have a relationship however keep collectively.
I reside with them due to cash points, they usually generally want help. I shouldn't have the flexibility to carry buddies or dates over, and I really feel as if my psychological well being is being affected due to this, amongst different issues.
I personal the home we reside in, however as a result of my of us are serving to me, I really feel I can’t inform them to go away. They irritate me to no finish, and I really feel terrible about that. What can I do to encourage them to go away me alone?
FRUSTRATED IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR FRUSTRATED: You and your mother and father are all adults. In a way, your relationship with them now could be its personal “marriage of comfort.” You might be overdue for a frank dialog along with your mother and father about boundaries and privateness.
You must be capable of entertain buddies, and your of us ought to provide the house to do it. You must also care much less what they give thought to the best way you conduct your life. You're a huge boy now, and as an grownup, you are able to do what you want.
DEAR ABBY: I'm having a battle with my 27-year-old daughter over watching my grandson. She thinks I ought to watch him day-after-day as a result of I don’t have a life and he or she needs to reside hers.
I like my grandson, however I’m 54 and have medical points. I had a coronary heart assault final yr on prime of getting diabetes and again ache. I’m not employed, however I tire simply.
I advised her I wish to see him when it’s handy for me, and, if she asks forward of time, I'll watch him — however not on a regular basis. I imagine it’s as much as her and the daddy, who's unreliable about watching him.
Now once I ask to select him up in school, except I’m preserving him for some time, she refuses. I’m the one grandmother in his life, however she needs to maintain me from him except it’s on her phrases. What's your opinion on this?
CONFLICTED GRAN IN NEW YORK
DEAR GRAN: My opinion is your daughter is making an attempt to blackmail you, and it's best to stand your floor.
She is annoyed that her baby’s father is unreliable, and he or she is searching for somebody to share her duty. For the sake of your well being, please don’t let or not it's you.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.