DEAR ABBY: I’m engaged to marry the love of my life. We’ve identified one another since we had been school-age (we are actually 50). Will probably be a second marriage for each of us.
He's unaware that I've entry to his Fb account and might see that he seems up his ex about as soon as per week. They've been divorced for 3 years.
It bothers me, however I’m hesitant to say something as a result of I must reveal how I do know.
I completely know he loves me and is in love with me. What do I do?
PERTURBED IN TEXAS
DEAR PERTURBED: I can perceive why you might be bothered.
Profitable relationships — marriages particularly — are constructed on belief and sincere communication, each of which seem like absent on this love story. For those who “completely know” your fiance loves you, why have you ever been monitoring his on-line actions?
I believe it’s time for full disclosure. Inform him why you felt the necessity to eavesdrop on him and ask him why he feels the necessity to verify on what his ex is doing. It may very well be easy curiosity, but when it’s greater than that, you might be entitled to know.
DEAR ABBY: I'm tattooed. I've 11 unfold over my physique.
I grew up with strict guidelines. My mother at all times stated no piercings (apart from ears) or tattoos whereas I used to be underneath her roof. I received my first tattoo at 22 whereas away at school. I needed to inform her about it due to a household seashore trip. She was disillusioned.
I've continued to get inked all through my life. Each time she observed a brand new tat, she voiced a adverse opinion.
We stay in numerous states now, so the topic of my tattoos hasn’t come up currently. A 12 months in the past, she was right here to go to and didn’t say one phrase about my ink.
I’m planning to have extra work carried out this summer time and I’m afraid that when she visits, she’ll be essential of me once more, regardless that I’m 32, have an above-minimum-wage job, and my husband and I personal our own residence.
What can I do or say to get her to maintain her feedback at bay?
TATTED IN INDIANA
DEAR TATTED: What you say to your mom is, “You understand I really like you, Mother. Thanks for the gorgeous physique you gave me. I’m sorry you might be disillusioned with what I've carried out with it, however sooner or later please preserve your adverse feedback to your self as a result of they're hurtful.”
DEAR ABBY: Oftentimes, we prefer to pay our restaurant verify with money. So our server gained’t mistake our intention, we place the cash contained in the folder with the ends of the money uncovered.
Most of the time, when the server picks up the folder he or she will say: “Do you want change?” We predict asking this query is cheesy, and we might desire one thing like: “I’ll be proper again along with your change.”
My Scottish heritage needs to say: “Each penny!” however good manners prevents that.
In some situations, we do depart a tip added on to the invoice and don’t need change — during which case we are saying: “No, thanks, the change is yours.”
What's your response when the server says: “Do you want any change?”
ASSUMING IN ARIZONA
DEAR ASSUMING: My response can be to smile and say, “Sure, please,” if I didn’t need my server to maintain it, which is uncommon.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.