DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I've three stunning grandchildren. Many individuals ask me, “How usually do you see your grandchildren?”
Once I reply with something however the phrase “day by day,” I'm usually met with responses corresponding to, “Oh, is that each one?” or “Don’t you would like it had been extra usually?”
Is there some “grandmother contest” that I'm unaware of? I really feel as if I’m being judged by how usually I see, or don’t see, my grandchildren. I've by no means thought to ask different folks this query, and my husband isn't requested.
Our children suppose we're fantastic dad and mom and grandparents, and we're pleased with the time spent with our grandchildren. What's one of the simplest ways to reply to this query that won't result in extra intrusive questions?
GENTLE READER: “The right quantity.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm an authorized public accountant who continuously entertains purchasers and enterprise associates throughout lunch and dinner conferences. I additionally take pleasure in internet hosting household and mates at eating places.
Once I choose up the examine with the latter group, somebody usually makes a remark corresponding to, “This have to be a enterprise expense or a write-off” — suggesting that I’m both dishonest my firm or dishonest on my taxes, moderately than treating them to a pleasant meal at my private expense. I’m at a web loss as to easy methods to reply.
GENTLE READER: Good one. Miss Manners will do her finest to offer some asset-stance.
Unhealthy accounting puns apart, she recommends that when confronted with such impolite accusations, you look damage and quietly say, “I'd by no means do this. I simply needed to take you out and revel in your organization.” Even when they had been joking, that must disgrace the stock out of them.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When is it OK to confer with somebody as “lifeless”?
My cousin died of most cancers at age 82. She had been fairly unwell for a while, so it was not a shock when she died.
I wrote her husband a condolence letter, saying that I used to be “sorry to find out about her demise.” I then reread my notice and questioned if I ought to have mentioned one thing alongside the traces of “her passing” as an alternative.
Is it too harsh to say “lifeless” or “demise”? Why do some folks say “passing” or “handed”? It simply appears to be sugarcoating demise.
GENTLE READER: Individuals do go to nice lengths to keep away from saying the phrase “demise,” simply as they do the phrase “cash.”
However euphemisms can usually sound silly and inaccurate. That you simply “misplaced” somebody begs the listener to surprise at your forgetfulness. And “passing” has non secular connotations that is probably not meant (though “handed away” is barely higher).
Miss Manners condones using the phrase “demise” so long as it doesn't sound unduly harsh — and he or she doesn't suppose what you wrote does.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.