DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband’s stomach has gotten enormous over the previous few years, however he both doesn’t understand it or doesn’t care.
He nonetheless wears sweaters that match him 20 years in the past, and so they pull up over the stomach so his pores and skin is uncovered. It’s not a reasonably sight.
Once I recommend that he put on one of many sweaters I not too long ago bought him that's the proper dimension, he balks and says he’s sporting what he needs to put on. I suppose at residence that’s OK, however he even wears these too-small garments out in public. It's not good.
How can I get him to pay nearer consideration to his grooming?
Many individuals achieve weight over time. I’m not chastising him about that. It will be good, after all, if he sorted his well being. However proper now I simply need him to cowl his stomach!
Cowl Your Stomach
DEAR COVER YOUR BELLY: Do your finest to get your husband to look within the mirror when he's sporting the small sweater. Level out that it doesn’t match him anymore.
Ask him to indulge you for a second. Convey one of many new sweaters and ask him to attempt it on. Level out that he seems to be good in it as a result of it suits.
When he grumbles and says he doesn’t care, inform him that you care. You need to take a look at him and see him well-groomed. Inform him it issues to you that he pays consideration to his look, at the least slightly bit.
Draw the road for going out. Inform him that even when he refuses to decorate in garments that match at residence, while you exit collectively, he must put on one thing that matches his physique. (Hopefully, he received’t dig in his heels.)
DEAR HARRIETTE: A not too long ago retired former worker of mine is attempting to construct a friendship with me. We have been by no means significantly pleasant whereas they have been employed, and I discover the dynamic now to be awkward and uncomfortable.
I need to be respectful and type, however on the identical time, I don’t need to be compelled right into a friendship.
Are you able to assist me give you a method to set boundaries diplomatically?
Awkward Friendship
DEAR HARRIETTE: Be cordial and clear. Congratulate your former worker on their retirement and encourage them to take pleasure in their newly found time to do no matter they select. Once they invite you to spend time with them, bow out gracefully.
Allow them to know that your schedule is simply too full now so that you can decide to spending time collectively. Simply say no once they invite you to do issues.
If this individual emails you, write again graciously, however don't agree to hang around with them or develop into pen friends. In the event that they name, ship it to voicemail. You don’t have to reply straight away, both. While you get an opportunity to hearken to the message, you'll be able to determine what's required, however a easy textual content again saying you're very busy and unable to attach proper now ought to suffice.
After that, simply cease responding.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their goals. You'll be able to ship questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.