Expensive Amy: Some longtime mates and I hadn’t seen one another for years and lately bought collectively for a number of days to reconnect.
Whereas at a restaurant for lunch, one buddy discreetly picked up the tab.
Upon discovering out the invoice was taken care of, “Alice” vocally refused this type gesture and requested the waitress, “Are you able to reverse the cost?”
I quietly mentioned, “Alice, simply say thanks. It’s the sleek factor to do.”
Alice bought upset and loudly questioned, “Did you simply inform me what to do?” – drawing the eye of the remainder of our desk.
She made a face at me, gave me “the hand,” and turned to the waitress, saying, “Don’t you simply hate it when different folks inform you what to do?”
The waitress stood there awkwardly. I mentioned nothing, nevertheless it rattled me.
Now that we're all again dwelling, I wished to comply with up with Alice and kind this out, however my sister, my husband and one other buddy who was there have all suggested me to simply let it's.
Sadly, I’m nonetheless dwelling on it.
Throughout this awkward second, did I behave inappropriately?
Maybe I ought to have simply mentioned nothing and let it play out between Alice, the buddy who paid the invoice, and the waitress?
How may I higher deal with this sort of state of affairs, ought to it occur once more?
Misplaced My Lunch
Expensive Misplaced: Given how this episode performed out, I assume you want you’d stayed quiet, and but you probably did nothing incorrect. You provided a buddy your mild suggestions (I agree with you, by the best way), and she or he aggressively and publicly shut you down.
I’m unsure why you'll need to contact Alice to type this out, aside from to ask for an apology for her harshness, which you certainly wouldn't obtain.
Expensive Amy: I'm 64 and retired. My husband is 62 and has his personal home-based enterprise.
He mentioned he was going to retire, however now he’s saying he'll work part-time so that we are going to have extra cash “to play.”
We moved to an especially small city, which has only a few leisure alternatives. It entails over two hours of driving to get all however probably the most primary of medical care.
A lot of the ladies right here grew up with their mates and aren't welcoming.
There may be additionally snow on the bottom for six months of the yr, and I've bodily issues that make it tough and dangerous for me to stroll in snow.
My husband is glad right here. He has mates by means of his work and doesn’t actually care about spending time with folks. He’s an out of doors man.
All I do is watch TV with him or watch for him to not be working.
I need to transfer to a spot the place I've extra choices for friendship and leisure, however he refuses to maneuver.
He doesn’t wish to journey, and I'm afraid the remainder of my life might be spent residing on this fishbowl the place I can solely look outdoors and be alone.
He rejects the thought of on the lookout for one other place and turns into offended after I deliver it up.
What ought to I do now?
Trapped Spouse
Expensive Trapped: Your husband’s “play fund” appears to use solely to him. There doesn’t appear to be a lot play in your life.
I assume that you've got completed your utmost to interact within the social lifetime of your chilly dwelling. Becoming a member of e book teams, volunteering on the library or getting a part-time job would assist to maintain you engaged and lively.
You're sad. You're chilly. Your well being is in danger. You haven't adjusted to life on this place.
For the rest of this winter, you may spend time researching choices. Do you might have mates or relations residing in additional congenial locales? In that case, you must look into alternate options for locations to remain for not less than the worst of the winter. You may have the ability to hire or share a room in an reasonably priced space.
My general level is that you simply clearly really feel trapped, however maybe you shouldn't look to your husband for options.
Expensive Amy: I’m nonetheless bothered by the letter from “Nameless,” a self-described “man-child” who needs no children, pets, dwelling – or any grownup duties.
I ponder who he thinks will care for him when he wants care?
Grown Up
Expensive Grown Up: Caregiving in elder years isn’t the one motive to have youngsters, however – when you increase them proper – children can definitely come in useful.
You may e mail Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or ship a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Field 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can too comply with her on Twitter @askingamy or Fb.