DEAR ABBY: I’ve learn your column for years, continuously taking recommendation you present to others and making use of it to my circumstances.
I've developed a mutual bond with a lady who's 30 — 28 years youthful than myself. She’s a waitress at a diner I frequent.
I’ve seen her kids develop over the previous six or seven years. We have now had many significant conversations and shared our highs and lows. She’s naturally pleasant.
Three or 4 years in the past, she started sharing informal facet hugs once I arrived. I by no means ask for them. During the last 12 months, these hugs have change into extra intimate — not in a sexual manner, only a deeper bond of friendship. We sometimes IM when she’s off work, however I don’t see her socially.
Recently she has been teasing that she’ll be my subsequent ex. I reciprocate the flirting and teasing. I imagine there's a mutual attraction. If not for the age distinction, which I’m OK with, or the worry of inflicting points with our friendship, I’d ask her out.
Societal taboos weigh closely on my thoughts, and I'm pragmatic.
Ought to I or shouldn’t I? Or am I studying an excessive amount of into our friendship?
UNSURE IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR UNSURE: Not having witnessed the chemistry between the 2 of you, I couldn’t say. Nonetheless, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
The subsequent time you see her, after a kind of “extra intimate” hugs, inform her teasingly that you've been fascinated about her remark that she’ll be your subsequent ex and ask if she’d prefer to have dinner with you someday. Her response will inform you you probably have been studying an excessive amount of into the friendship.
DEAR ABBY: I've been with my husband for seven years, and I’m uninterested in having the identical battle every single day. He smokes marijuana, and I hate it.
It has been a relentless battle for years. We tried remedy, which helped for some time, however he goes again to smoking behind my again. We tried to achieve a compromise that he smoke solely after a sure time of day, however it nonetheless results in fights.
He shuts me out when he’s doing medication and says I don’t care about his happiness as a result of it’s one thing he enjoys, and I'm taking it away.
I really like him a lot, however I hate medication and don’t like who he turns into when he’s smoking.
I need to have a child, however I'm uncomfortable with medication being in the home. I really feel like I can’t belief him to be alone with a child when he’s excessive.
I don’t need to go away him, however I can’t take it anymore. Having the identical battle every single day is exhausting, and it’s had a extremely destructive affect on our marriage.
I need him to decide on me over this, but when I give him an ultimatum, he’ll hate me. What do I do?
ANTI-DRUG IN ILLINOIS
DEAR ANTI-DRUG: Give your husband that ultimatum and pack your baggage. In the event you desire the daddy of your baby not have a marijuana behavior and he can not give up, then, as a lot as you could love him, this individual isn’t The One for you. Sorry.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.