DEAR MISS MANNERS: When is the right time to offer a trunk get together for a school pupil?
GENTLE READER: When his buddies, who're in all probability additionally going off to school, and your pals, who're in all probability paying faculty tuition, beg you to permit them to assist furnish his dormitory room.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a teen with recurrent hip ache, and I've thought of utilizing a mobility assist — particularly, a strolling cane.
Since I'm nonetheless younger and stay with my mother and father, I really feel a bit uncomfortable on the concept of utilizing a cane. My mother and father are the kind to inform me to “stroll it off,” despite the fact that a cane would assist me a terrific cope with my ache.
Do you will have any solutions for some phrases to make use of when citing the topic with my mother and father? Is it ample to say, “Hey, this factor helps me and I’d like to make use of it, even for those who assume it’s just for the aged”?
GENTLE READER: Truly, Miss Manners has two phrases for you: strolling stick.
Time was when a strolling stick was thought of an elegant accent for each women and gents, unrelated to any usefulness it might need offered. Check out vintage sticks — some have built-in compasses, flasks, watches, powder compacts or, if individuals get actually annoying, swords. You would begin a brand new fad.
Miss Manners just isn't encouraging you to assault your mother and father. However they do want an excellent talking-to about your mobility being extra essential than ridiculous — to not point out ageist — considerations about what others assume.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my husband died after an extended sickness, I obtained many beautiful notes. I answered all of them. I used to be very touched by the kindness, and I felt it helped me recuperate from my sorrow.
After I hear of the passing of buddies or their relations, I normally write to the survivors. Most write again. Some don’t reply.
What's the proper response to a written letter of condolence?
GENTLE READER: Precisely what your intuition instructed you.
Miss Manners is conscious that many really feel it's a burden on the bereaved to must acknowledge expressions of sympathy. In excessive circumstances of grief prostration, one of many Is-There-Something-I-Can-Do? individuals may be deputized to convey the survivor’s appreciation.
However you will need to acknowledge condolence letters. As you attest, it ought to be gratifying to know that others cared for the deceased and are sympathetic with the survivor. Writing again is an opportunity to signify your husband to them, in appreciation not solely of their concern, however of what these individuals meant to him.
And ignoring them usually has an unlucky, unintended consequence. As Miss Manners has usually heard from widows (by no means from widowers), they might be ignored socially after the primary intense mourning interval. This can be partly as a result of these whose first overtures had been ignored conclude that the widow needs to be left alone, and thus stop to importune her.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.