DEAR MISS MANNERS: My nephew opened a brand new enterprise. He despatched a mass textual content message thanking those that supported him in the course of the course of (he by no means advised me about it) and a hyperlink to RSVP to his grand opening.
The textual content additionally had a hyperlink for donations, and those that donated a particular (hefty) quantity could be entered right into a raffle for a present.
I congratulated him, and he responded with a “thanks” and a copy-and-paste of his authentic message.
I've completely no intention of attending the opening or sending a “donation.” I despatched him a beneficiant wedding ceremony reward and exquisite presents for every of his youngsters and not using a thank-you in return, texted or in any other case. I solely obtain invitations to his gift-generating occasions, however he has events at his dwelling on a regular basis that he posts on social media.
I’m not going to reply a technique or one other. If he asks, I'll say I’m sorry that I can not attend (with out additional clarification).
I do know his father (my brother) goes to ask me why I’m not going to attend. I intend to inform him that I don’t hear from my nephew until it's a money-grab occasion, I by no means get a thank-you in return, and that is the outcome. I do know that can get a defensive response, however he must know.
Is there a nicer solution to get my level throughout with out the acrimony?
GENTLE READER: It relies on what your level is. Whether it is that nephews ought to write thank-you notes, then you may cease sending presents — and, if requested about it, say that it was your impression that your nephew had outgrown presents from you as a result of he doesn't acknowledge them.
In case your level is that it's not good to badger your relations into supporting what you are promoting, you may reply by saying that you simply choose to maintain household and enterprise separate — and when you are very blissful for his new enterprise, you reserve your donations for social causes.
In case your level is that your brother must know what his son is doing, Miss Manners fears that you'll have to wait to be requested, as a extra direct criticism of his habits could be rude.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Once I was on the vet with my cat, the workers saved referring to homeowners as “mother and father” and pets as “infants” or “youngsters.”
I really feel the urge to ridicule these kind of statements. Whereas I perceive that individuals adore their pets (as do I), I feel it's incorrect — and even offensive — to place them in the identical class as human youngsters. Are you able to mirror on this subject a little bit bit?
GENTLE READER: For the reason that topic is animals, albeit home ones, Miss Manners’ recommendation is: Don't poke the bear.
Many pet homeowners really feel as you do — typically strongly sufficient that they'd contemplate, as you've got, doing one thing that will be fairly impolite: particularly, ridiculing those that disagree.
The pet homeowners who disagree are equally passionate — with the added incentive that they imagine you're attacking not simply their pug, however their first-born. Certainly that is sufficient motive to let sleeping canines lie.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.