DEAR MISS MANNERS: I really feel that my soon-to-be MIL could have some sick will or jealousy towards me.
My fiance is the one boy, so naturally she coddled him, however I wouldn’t say he’s a mama’s boy.
She makes feedback equivalent to, “Cease cooking for my son each evening! He comes house and expects it from me, however that’s not going to occur.” Or, “It should be good to have a handbag that prices as a lot as a automobile fee.”
It boggles my thoughts. I'd assume a mom can be pleased her son was cooked for and brought care of.
I don't discover her much less of a girl as a result of she doesn't prepare dinner for her household, however I grew up watching my mother work full-time and are available house to prepare dinner, so I do the identical. I completed faculty early, went into the army and have been alone ever since. I make my very own cash and am financially steady. If I splurge and purchase myself one thing good, it’s as a result of I really feel I earned it.
She selected to not end faculty or get a job exterior of small church issues, attributable to his father’s steady job and earnings. They reside a snug, upper-middle-class way of life and don't have any want or need for something.
His mother and father took a visit to Italy, and afterward I acquired a small field within the mail. Inside was a small 3×3 body — no image, no card or be aware. My fiance advised me it was from his mother, who had advised him she bought me one thing in Italy. Whereas I respect the thought, it nearly appeared disingenuous because of the lack of communication.
I don't wish to enter a wedding with pressure between her and me. Am I overreacting or studying too far into issues? How do I carry this up with my fiance? Or ought to I deal with it one-on-one along with her?
GENTLE READER: The empty, note-less body is odd, however no less than your mother-in-law was making an effort. Miss Manners suggests that you simply not learn an excessive amount of into it. Maybe it's meant to your wedding ceremony image.
But if you happen to begin receiving random doll elements, you might have trigger for alarm.
Within the meantime, you may attempt to get to know your potential mother-in-law higher and get her in your facet early earlier than resentment units in and stays there. Inquiring into her background and her son’s childhood, in addition to sharing anecdotes about yours and the form of partner you hope to be, will doubtless be thought of charming.
That is no assure that all the things will go easily from there on out. However cliches equivalent to, “The most effective protection is an efficient offense,” “Preserve your pals shut and your enemies nearer” and any others which can be code for protecting a discontented mother-in-law beneath management, are helpful.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.