DEAR ABBY: I’m a really profitable 55-year-old married man. I really like my spouse, however I've a girlfriend I additionally love. Each ladies feed my soul.
I hate that society tells me I’m incorrect for having the 2 of them. I spend high quality time with each. I make sufficient cash to go on costly, prolonged holidays. I really like my life.
These two girls are the most effective factor that ever occurred to me in addition to my three stunning kids. Why shouldn’t I be capable of get pleasure from each of them with out feeling like I’m sneaking round on a regular basis?
I do know there are going to be naysayers who reply. However most girls will in all probability by no means be the one girl in a person’s life.
HAPPY WITH TWO
DEAR HAPPY WITH TWO: This will likely look like a foolish, unimportant element however — how do your spouse and your mistress really feel about this association?
You talked about that you just really feel like you're sneaking round. Why is that? Isn’t your spouse on board with it? And the way about your mistress? Will she be happy with the established order till she’s a senior citizen with the understanding that you'll depart her a really wealthy previous girl?
It’s not misplaced on me that nowhere in your letter have you ever requested me for “recommendation.” I’m printing this as a result of everyone knows there are married males within the higher earnings brackets who, such as you, really feel entitled to benefit from the attentions of multiple girl. However all it demonstrates is that having cash doesn't assure an individual has character — or class.
DEAR ABBY: I’m 62 and not too long ago retired. My spouse is 56 and nonetheless working. We've got been married 32 years.
She's going to retire at 60 to get a full pension from her firm, and now we have a number of million dollars in our retirement financial savings.
We journey collectively internationally every year for about 10 days. I've talked to her about my want to journey extra usually on my own or with my retired buddies, since now's my “golden age” and I’m nonetheless bodily in a position to do it. I get pleasure from classical operas/music and wish to go to some music festivals, such because the Salzburg competition, and so on.
My spouse thinks I’m egocentric since she nonetheless works. I've defined to her that we are able to’t predict our future bodily talents (my knees are deteriorating). If, by the point she retires, I’m not bodily sturdy sufficient to journey, I could remorse it endlessly.
If the scenario had been reversed and she or he wished to journey by herself or together with her buddies after she’s retired, I believe it might be egocentric of me to insist she not do it. Is she proper? Is my want to journey extra earlier than my spouse retires egocentric?
PONDERING IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR PONDERING: I don’t suppose so. You've labored onerous for a few years to have the ability to afford the luxurious, and you have to be “allowed” to get pleasure from the advantages of your labors together with her blessing. In just a few extra years, she could have the identical freedom.
P.S. I hope your well being will permit you each to take many extra holidays collectively sooner or later. And don’t depend your self out due to your “deteriorating” knees. As I’m certain you're conscious, knee replacements are frequent now. A number of people I do know say it has significantly improved their lives. (Hips, too!)
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.