DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it applicable to ship out a marriage invitation with express instructions on how company ought to gown?
The bride desires to stipulate on the invitation “no T-shirts, no shorts,” and many others. She says too many individuals present up at weddings improperly dressed.
I discover this impolite. What do you suppose?
GENTLE READER: Which? Dressing in leisure garments for an vital event, or issuing particular gown directions to company?
By no means thoughts; each are impolite. Which creates an issue.
Hosts might set the final customary of gown, akin to “black tie” — or puzzling codes they suppose up, akin to “elegant informal,” no matter which means. However they're purported to respect their company’ judgment and never scold them upfront.
Sure, Miss Manners is aware of your pals haven't any such judgment. She suggests a one-word instruction: “formal.” This may mystify the company, however maybe make them understand that their seashore outfits don't qualify.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Does sporting the flag as garments present that you simply love America, or that you simply hate America?
I used to be raised to imagine that it was disrespectful, if not traitorous, to put on the American flag in your butt or anyplace else, besides as a part of a certified uniform, or perhaps a discreet pin like those that appear required for politicians.
And now I see individuals who establish as patriots utilizing flag materials for all types of issues, together with boxers, bikinis and every part else. Are they sending a double message?
GENTLE READER: Quite the opposite: They've acquired a double message.
The U.S. Flag Code — written and printed by advocacy teams in 1923, adopted by Congress in 1942 and revised quite a few instances subsequently — states that “the flag ought to by no means be used as sporting attire, bedding, or material.” The American Legion interprets that as referring to an precise flag, not a cloth sample that appears like a flag.
Miss Manners’ recommendation is to maintain away from any “Extra Patriotic Than Thou” contests.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our youth pastor took all of the graduating seniors and their households to lunch. My daughter thinks she ought to write the thank-you notice as a result of she was the one instantly invited, whereas we had been the “plus-ones”; I believe I ought to write it as a result of I’m often the one to purchase lunch for my household, and so I acquired probably the most profit. What do you say?
GENTLE READER: You wish to cease your well mannered daughter from expressing gratitude, with the argument that saving you cash is extra vital than being hospitable? Are you mad?
Miss Manners begs you to cease making an attempt to show etiquette to your daughter, who is aware of extra about it than you do.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: If three workplace staff give a dozen cookies to a college counselor for Faculty Counselor Week, ought to she provide a cookie to every of them?
GENTLE READER: Though there isn't any prohibition towards sharing meals that was given as a gift, neither is there a requirement to take action. Miss Manners assumes that the beneficiant bakers acquired to lick the batter.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.