DEAR HARRIETTE: A buddy of mine handed away not too long ago, after asking me to deal with all of her affairs.
I rapidly stepped in to assist, received a lawyer and the entire different issues wanted to verify she was set. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, her former associate got here to me asking for cash. He stated he had purchased a home along with her years earlier than, and he claimed that she owed him cash.
This transaction was one thing I knew nothing about. There have been no information of it, both. He couldn’t present me something, definitely no authorized documentation of the mortgage he stated he gave her.
He received mad at me after I informed him I couldn’t reimburse him for the mortgage.
I like this man, however what was I alleged to do? I referred him to her lawyer, however he simply received mad and accused me of stealing his cash.
What I did as executor was to distribute the cash as she requested, in partnership with the legal professional. I don’t know what else to do to fulfill this ex. Ought to I write him a small test anyway?
Property Insanity
DEAR ESTATE MADNESS: Seek the advice of your legal professional and comply with his or her instructions to the letter of the regulation.
As executor of your buddy’s property, your authorized responsibility is to her. You will have the legal professional for a purpose: that will help you handle her affairs legally. Sadly, there are sometimes excessive feelings when somebody dies, and ceaselessly, folks come out of the woodwork asking for cash in the event that they consider the deceased had something to supply.
Your buddy’s ex could also be telling the reality concerning the mortgage. His mistake was not documenting the mortgage when it was made, and never dealing with his enterprise along with her earlier than she died. For no matter purpose, he waited too lengthy.
You may’t repair an issue you don’t really know exists. Apologize to him for having your palms tied, however don't write him a test. Your buddy’s belongings should not allotted for that.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I come from a small, shut household. I've three siblings, and we're all attentive to our mother, who's in her 90s and frail. She has weathered COVID-19, damaged bones and every kind of different issues, and we're grateful that she continues to be alive.
What we haven’t performed is discuss what occurs when she passes. I feel we don’t wish to face the inevitable, however it's value speaking about.
How can I carry it up with out being morbid? My sister who lives close to her talks about all the things else about her care, however by no means as soon as about what’s subsequent.
Making Plans
DEAR MAKING PLANS: Attain out to your caregiving sister and inform her you suppose it’s time to speak concerning the future. Ask her in case your mother has ever stated what she needs to occur when she dies. It's possible you'll be shocked to be taught that she has shared her plans with somebody. If she has, be taught concerning the plan. If not, counsel that you just and your different siblings plan a time to speak within the close to future to debate your ideas.
Most vital: Discover out in case your mother has funds through private financial savings or insurance coverage to pay for a funeral and a burial or cremation. If she doesn't, resolve amongst yourselves how you'll deal with the bills, which could be appreciable. Take into consideration your mom’s preferences — sort of service, music, readings, audio system.
Discuss it out so that you've got a way of what she would possibly like. In case your mom is of sound thoughts, ask her straight. This doesn't need to be a morbid dialog.
Everyone dies, and she or he is aware of that. Discover out what she needs, for those who suppose she will be able to let you know.
This dialog amongst your siblings or along with your mother doesn't need to be lengthy and drawn-out, however it's smart to have it earlier than you're dwelling in grief.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their goals. You may ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.