DEAR HARRIETTE: My former finest pal known as me the opposite day and informed me she wanted to talk to me about one thing essential.
She hosts a well-liked podcast sequence and informed me that her latest episode could be about our friendship and the explanation we grew aside. She briefed me on what she mentioned about me. (The present had already been recorded.)
She mentioned she needed to provide me a warning earlier than it aired as a result of she didn’t need me to be blindsided. I gave her my blessing.
I listened to the episode after it aired, and it was nothing like what she warned me it might be like. She made me out to be such a foul individual. She didn’t point out my identify, but it surely was so clearly about me.
Ought to I inform her to take it down? Ought to I confront her?
Take It Down
DEAR TAKE IT DOWN: Make this a possibility to clear the air with this lady. Name her and inform her that you just listened to the podcast, and also you wish to get collectively and discuss to her.
Have a dialog together with her about your friendship. Inform her that your recollection of what transpired between you is dramatically totally different from what she mentioned about you. Describe your recollection of what occurred between you. Ask her if she remembers any of the small print that you just put ahead.
Problem the tales that you don't agree with that she shared in her podcast. Convey up particular tales and describe what you keep in mind compared to what she mentioned. Inform her that her portrayal of you doesn't appear correct to you, and it makes you very uncomfortable.
You'll be able to ask her to take it down. In case you are up for it, you might wish to counsel that the 2 of you discuss on the podcast so to set the document straight.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt has been together with her husband since she was 18 years outdated and by no means needed to work if she didn’t wish to. Being a stay-at-home mom is all she’s ever identified.
I not too long ago expressed my want to maneuver out of my dad and mom’ home the opposite day (I'm 25), and he or she utterly discouraged me from doing so. She informed me I don't know what it takes to be alone and that I'd be loopy to stay in a serious metropolis with out a roommate on my present wage.
I didn’t discover this dialog useful. She is the one individual in my household who utterly discouraged me from shifting out. Mockingly, she can also be the one individual in my household who has by no means paid any payments. Ought to I inform her that her recommendation is meaningless?
Didn’t Ask
DEAR DIDN’T ASK: Relatively than capturing the messenger, hearken to her recommendation to see what you may be taught from it. How a lot does it price to hire an residence the place you reside? Primarily based in your present wage, what are you able to afford to pay? If she is true about that time, think about getting a roommate. There’s completely nothing unsuitable with that choice. You could possibly additionally search for a neighborhood that’s a bit farther away the place the costs are decrease.
The purpose right here is to listen to what your aunt needed to say as you make your plans. In the end, you need to determine your subsequent steps for your self. Don't low cost her counsel, although. Her life’s trajectory doesn't essentially imply that her opinion is nugatory. Everybody who presents recommendation has a perspective that you would be able to think about so long as you do not forget that none of these folks has the ability to make you do something.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their desires. You'll be able to ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.