DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiancee’s prolonged household has an “adults” desk and a “youngsters” desk and all the time seats us on the youngsters desk.
She is her mother and father’ youngest daughter however not the youngest within the household by a protracted shot: There are precise kids beneath the age of 10 at this desk. I'm a university graduate, and we're getting married this summer time.
I really feel it's insulting to not be allowed on the grownup desk. Do I deliver this up?
GENTLE READER: No, you simply make the youngsters’s desk extra enjoyable than the adults’ desk. When the adults hear the raucous laughter you elicit from the small ones, whom you could have cautioned to not inform why, Miss Manners trusts that there'll quickly be one other seating association.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a widow on a hard and fast earnings, I’m discovering my marriage ceremony bills getting steep. A youthful pal of my fiance instructed him that the lady pays for the marriage.
Is that true, even in the event you’re each older? My fiance is 70 and I’m 66. Neither of us has kids.
GENTLE READER: In case your fiance is utilizing this argument, Miss Manners advises you to ensure that a lawyer ties up your belongings earlier than you marry.
Additionally, he's older than he claims: That notion is a perversion of the Nineteenth-century customized of getting the mother and father of a younger bride, who was presumed to haven't any monetary assets or prospects of her personal, give the marriage — on the understanding that it was the bridegroom’s duty to pay all prices for her maintenance from then on. Is that the deal he needs to make?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it impolite to drop off a present on the doorstep? I dropped off a gift and by no means acquired a thank-you, so now I’m questioning if the recipient thought it was impolite to only drop it off.
GENTLE READER: Or if some passerby discovered it a beneficiant gesture?
Not being impolite doesn't imply it's a good suggestion, and Miss Manners advises you to examine whether or not it was acquired.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: For a few years, I've observed that invites — each print and digital — embrace the ZIP code together with the venue’s road deal with, metropolis and state.
This may very well be helpful when writing a thank-you be aware after the celebration, however is it appropriate to incorporate on the invitation? It's particularly odd to see it when the occasion is just not on the host’s residence.
GENTLE READER: The final rule is to omit cluttering invites with data that anybody of sense would already know.
An instance is that the 12 months is omitted, as a result of one wouldn't subject an invite for a 12 months upfront. Whether or not it's for morning or night is likewise omitted, as a result of events don't usually start between midnight and 6 within the morning. (However Miss Manners doesn't know your crowd; maybe their events do, by which case the excellence could be mandatory.)
She sees your level concerning the ZIP code. It's a bit unsubtle for many who subject invites to seem super-aware of directing the place presents needs to be despatched.
They may however deal with that by placing the ZIP code on the envelope, the place it belongs.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.