DEAR MISS MANNERS: Do you could have a suggestion about what to say when somebody tells you they’ve lately gotten divorced?
I don’t imply intimate mates (as a result of A. I'd have already recognized it was taking place, and B. I'd know the way they felt about it, and thus what can be applicable to say). I imply informal acquaintances or skilled contacts.
“I’m sorry to listen to that; it should have been a tough time” appears impartial however nonetheless presumptuous, and may invite undesirable dialog concerning the matter. All I can consider is, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that,” which if nothing else is the easy reality.
Do you could have any higher options? I've, at the least, stopped asking folks “and the way is (partner)?” till the individual mentions them.
GENTLE READER: “I’m sorry” appeared impartial sufficient to Miss Manners, too, till somebody replied, “If I’m completely satisfied and he’s completely satisfied, what are you so sorry about?” She has due to this fact switched to “I want you all the most effective.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We're having an argument: One group thinks it’s acceptable etiquette to reply a name in your cellphone when perched on “the throne” at dwelling, so long as you don’t flush or in any other case point out the place you might be.
The opposite group thinks that’s gross, to not point out a great way to drop your cellphone into the bowl and drown it. If a name is available in, it is best to ignore it, end what you might be doing and return the decision.
What does etiquette dictate on this scenario?
GENTLE READER: Frankly, etiquette needs nothing to do with this case. If it did, it might ask how it's potential to drop the phone into one thing you might be masking by sitting on it. But it surely doesn't, so please don't reply.
Miss Manners considers it an excellent benefit of etiquette that it doesn't discover particular person conduct that doesn't have an effect on different folks. So if one is shouting in a public toilet or tying up services that others need to use, it might be impolite. However so far as the callers are involved, in the event that they have no idea, it doesn't rely.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Certainly one of my greatest mates died in March of 2020. Her accomplice didn’t notify me till Could of 2020, regardless that he had my cellphone quantity and e mail tackle.
He was jealous of our friendship, so I assume that's the reason he didn’t notify me when it occurred. I used to be so shocked and upset I didn’t ask him why.
I've had psychological well being issues since then, so I haven’t talked to my good friend’s mother and father. Is it OK to contact her mother and father now, or is it too late?
GENTLE READER: Do you bear in mind what was occurring in March of 2020?
There isn't any expiration date for providing condolences, and certainly your late good friend’s mother and father can be glad to have them. However you might be much less tolerant of delays. It doesn't strike Miss Manners as insulting that somebody mourning a accomplice, and at a time when everybody’s lives have been being rattled by the spreading pandemic, ought to take a number of weeks to ship the information to everybody.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.