DEAR MISS MANNERS: We acquired an invite to the marriage of the daughter of buddies.
It said, in substance, “We've got the whole lot we'd like, our condo is small, and we all know your style is horrible and that we might hate any reward you would possibly pick for us. So we’re going to pressure you to offer us cash for our honeymoon: airfare to Italy, lodge room, dinners, excursions, bottles of wine, and many others.”
You get the thought. I resent being compelled to donate to this “charity.”
The one concept we now have provide you with that might make us really feel OK about this case is giving a donation to our favourite charity within the couple’s identify. What do you counsel?
GENTLE READER: In substance, that's what all such requests imply, and if this couple said it outright, they don't seem to be as amusing as they could imagine they're. Do you actually wish to attend their marriage ceremony?
In any case, presents are all the time voluntary, despite the fact that it's supposed that individuals who care sufficient a few couple to witness their marriage ceremony will wish to present tangible proof of their goodwill.
Nevertheless, if in case you have been expressly requested not to do this, Miss Manners doesn't really feel that you're obliged to ship some compensation. By all means, give to charity, with or with out their names, however don't take into account that cost due.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I examined constructive for COVID-19 and ready to quarantine for 10 days. An expensive pal despatched me a takeout reward card and instructed me to deal with myself to a pleasant meal whereas caught at dwelling.
Two days later, it turned out that my check had been a false constructive, and I used to be capable of cease quarantining.
Wouldn't it be impolite to return the reward that my pal gave me, assuming that I'd have a for much longer quarantine? Or would it not be impolite to maintain the reward?
GENTLE READER: Usually, returning a gift is an insult, however these should not regular occasions nor regular circumstances. Nonetheless, it might be awkward, and Miss Manners can consider one thing higher than the chance of seeming to say, “I’m wonderful, so I don’t want your generosity.”
Double the order at your expense, and invite your variety pal to a pleasant meal at dwelling with you.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: In my profession, I’ve been instructed by co-workers that I “have to be OCD” as a result of my workspace is organized and uncluttered. In each occasion, the commenter has a messy workspace.
Out of politeness, I by no means go to their space and inform them they “have to be a slob or a hoarder.” Shouldn’t they keep away from the OCD label for me?
GENTLE READER: And deprive them of the pleasure of justifying their very own mess?
Miss Manners would reply, “What a disgrace we will’t all observe your glorious instance,” whereas gesturing at these overloaded desks and making an attempt very exhausting to not smirk.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When somebody returns dwelling, who must be the primary to greet whom?
GENTLE READER: Absolutely this routine is well-known beneath the identify of “Honey, I’m Residence.”
The stay-at-home can't be presumed to listen to and interpret footsteps and to be assured that they belong to Honey and never somebody curious about buying the silverware. Subsequently, it's as much as the particular person returning to make that announcement.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.