DEAR MISS MANNERS: My niece is getting married in a few months. All 4 of my sisters (two from out of state) and my mom will seemingly attend.
My girlfriend and I are serious about marriage. It is going to be the third time for every of us. We would like a small, no-frills wedding ceremony.
Would it not be applicable to marry the day after my niece’s wedding ceremony? I don’t wish to steal her highlight, however want to benefit from everybody being there.
GENTLE READER: It's not Miss Manners whom it's important to persuade, however your niece.
She has a reliable declare to have been there first, so for the sake of peace within the household, her help must be, if not fully real, at the least convincing.
This implies no main questions or statements of the “Why are you making such a fuss? Your mom thinks it’s an amazing concept!” selection.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two of my grownup nieces (of their 30s) stayed at my residence with me for a weekend. After they left, I found that a distant management had been damaged and that there have been espresso stains on my sofa, in my automobile, and on blankets within the visitor room.
Accidents occur, however I might have most well-liked realizing about these so I might have addressed them in a well timed method. Am I overreacting?
GENTLE READER: You aren't overreacting, however would you not additionally wish to know what to do about it? (Not asking appears to Miss Manners like confessing to soiling the sofa however not providing to assist make it proper: a half-completed process.)
You can't ask in case your visitor broke one thing, however you may say you had not realized the distant was damaged and apologize for not having offered a working one. This can inform your nieces that you simply seen, whereas additionally testing their reliability as future friends.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A buddy wrote to specific her harm and puzzlement once we uncared for to name and go to her whereas seeing different mates and relations in her state. She demanded to understand how this might have occurred.
Some background: For the previous few years, we have now been reluctant to spend time alone with this couple. In a bigger group it's OK, however they have a tendency to deal with us (and everybody else) as if we had simply fallen from the turnip truck. We're subjected to lectures on all method of issues about which they imagine themselves to be specialists.
After our journey, I defined that we couldn't match them into our busy schedule this time. She appeared to simply accept that, however then went on to disclose that what she actually wished to know was whether or not one thing had upset us and brought about us to rethink our longtime friendship.
I'm not sure how to answer the query, or whether or not to go away it to fester. Is there a well mannered solution to get out of this dilemma?
GENTLE READER: You will have been doing the well mannered factor, which is to have restricted availability, so that you're not pushed to admit that you're uninterested in your mates’ insulting demeanor. Hold at it.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.