DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife and I had been divorced seven years in the past. It was my doing. I had two affairs, the second of which resulted in my present marriage.
I've at all times regretted my actions and the ache it precipitated, and I vowed to by no means make that mistake once more.
My ex is fortunately remarried, however right here’s the issue: We have now a daughter in her late 20s. She appeared to regulate to our scenario rapidly; nonetheless, her mom has turned her in opposition to me to the purpose the place she has lower off all contact.
It has been almost three years and it eats away at me day by day. Her mom has utterly brainwashed her.
I not too long ago discovered my daughter is pregnant, which has made it worse. Because it stands, I’ll don't have any contact with my grandchild, whereas my ex rubs it in my face.
Abby, I’ve by no means mentioned a foul phrase about my ex, regardless that I do know she’s not a great individual. She has used individuals, stolen, cheated and lied most of her life and apparently continues to take action. She’s informed outright lies about me to our daughter and others.
I've admitted my misdeeds, however my ex can’t or received’t do the identical. I wish to expose her, however I do know I can’t if I would like any hope of reconciliation with my daughter.
How can I discuss to my daughter, no less than to get closure?
SAD DAD IN OHIO
DEAR DAD: Ship your daughter a registered letter telling her how a lot you like her and congratulating her on her being pregnant.
On the similar time — with out pointing fingers at your ex-wife, which could solely additional alienate your daughter — clarify that a number of the issues she might have been informed about you aren’t true and also you wish to focus on them along with her. Then cross your fingers and hope she agrees.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a married lady in my early 40s with two young children. I'm blessed to get pleasure from a detailed relationship with my mother and father, each of whom at the moment are of their mid-to-late 70s.
My siblings and I all reside inside quarter-hour of them, and we spend numerous time collectively for holidays, particular events and basic get-togethers.
Currently, I can’t cease occupied with my mother and father dying. It will likely be terrible as soon as they're gone.
It has reached a degree the place if considered one of them will get a chilly, I’m terrified it'll flip into one thing extra critical. I’m additionally scared that one thing else traumatic would possibly occur, and I dread receiving that telephone name.
I don’t know easy methods to cease considering like this. I do know demise is part of life, however I don’t need day by day to be clouded by ideas of one thing dangerous occurring. Is there any approach to have a more healthy mindset?
LOVING DAUGHTER IN TEXAS
DEAR DAUGHTER: There may be multiple approach to method this.
The primary can be to show off the information for every week and see if it lowers your degree of tension, which can stem from the incessant drumbeat of reporting about COVID.
If that doesn’t assist, then it'd profit you to speak with a licensed psychological well being practitioner for assist to ease your nervousness by attending to the basis of what's inflicting it.
In case your mother and father are in good well being, they might be with you for a few years to return. It could be a disgrace to waste that treasured time due to fears about what's going to someday occur to us all.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.