DEAR ABBY: I will probably be assembly an outdated highschool good friend for lunch. We at the moment are in our 50s.
I heard by the grapevine that she by no means had youngsters. I'm not sure what to say when the topic of kids comes up, because it invariably will.
“I’m sorry” is probably not acceptable as a result of maybe she by no means wished any. “Wow” or “fascinating” could sound a bit odd.
In the same vein, what does one say to somebody once they share that they're divorced? I recall a lady I met telling me she was divorced. I mentioned, “I’m sorry,” and he or she replied, “I’m not!”
What’s an acceptable response for when these conditions occur? I don’t wish to seem unsympathetic, however maybe they don’t need sympathy.
SYMPATHETIC IN FLORIDA
DEAR SYMPATHETIC: You'll have hit on one thing. The birthrate in the USA is at an all-time low as a result of many ladies have chosen to forgo motherhood. If somebody tells you she doesn’t have youngsters, all you must say is “Oh,” and alter the topic. You shouldn't interrogate the particular person additional.
As for the topic of divorce, typically dissolution of a wedding is therapeutic. Don't ask for — or count on — extra particulars.
Present an curiosity in what your outdated good friend is doing now, and transfer on from there.
DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I battle, which isn’t actually that always, he shuts himself away for a number of days. He locks the door to his workplace or the visitor room and gained’t come out.
I attempt to give him time to chill off, however typically it’s awkward. He wouldn’t discuss to me in any respect for a number of days whereas his entire household was right here celebrating his grandma’s ninetieth birthday.
He’s mad once more. I apologized by textual content since he wouldn’t discuss to me, however our children — ages 6 and eight — are going to surprise why Daddy isn’t with us. Ought to I skip a deliberate occasion and provides him extra time to chill off or attempt to method him?
WAITING FOR HIM IN GEORGIA
DEAR WAITING: Skip the deliberate occasion, and when your passive-aggressive husband comes out of hiding, insist the 2 of you get marriage counseling to resolve your variations.
What he has been doing isn’t wholesome in your marriage. Coping with battle by hiding and utilizing the silent remedy to punish one’s partner units a poor instance in your youngsters, who're sufficiently old to acknowledge that one thing is fallacious between Daddy and Mommy.
If he gained’t do it for the sake of your marriage, he ought to do it for the emotional well being of these youngsters.
DEAR ABBY: My late husband was a dentist. Ought to I embrace his DDS diploma on his gravestone?
NOT SURE IN THE SOUTH
DEAR NOT SURE: Though your husband could also be deceased and now not working towards dentistry, it doesn’t make him any much less a dentist. He earned his diploma. If you need it carved in granite, I don’t see why it shouldn’t be. Inquire on the cemetery about its protocol.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.